Finding Motherhood Hard? Here’s Why That’s Totally Normal (and Why You’re Doing Better Than You Think)

Motherhood is often painted as the ultimate journey of love and fulfillment—a parade of sweet baby giggles, tiny fingers holding yours, and heart-melting moments of pure joy. But here’s the truth: motherhood can also be messy, exhausting, and really hard. And if you’ve found yourself wondering why this beautiful journey doesn’t always feel like the “bliss” everyone talks about, know this: you are not alone. In fact, finding motherhood challenging is incredibly normal, and it doesn’t make you any less of an amazing mum.

So, let’s talk about why it’s okay to feel this way—and why being honest about the hard parts of motherhood is a strength, not a weakness.

1. No One Has It All Together (Even If It Looks Like They Do)

It’s so easy to feel like everyone else has figured out motherhood except for you. Social media is filled with picture-perfect families, spotless homes, and smiling kids in coordinated outfits. But what you don’t see are the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the moments of doubt, and the mountain of laundry piled just out of frame.

Behind every seemingly flawless mum is someone who, at one point or another, feels as overwhelmed as you do. If motherhood feels hard for you, that just means you’re in good company.

2. Motherhood Is Beautiful and Hard—Both Can Be True

There’s this pressure to either view motherhood as the ultimate joy or to only talk about the struggles, as though you have to pick one or the other. But here’s a revelation: motherhood is allowed to be both. It’s okay to adore your child fiercely while also acknowledging that, some days, you’re hanging by a thread.

Finding it hard doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for your kids. It just means you’re human, navigating one of the most challenging roles on the planet.

3. Your “Hard” Might Look Different—And That’s Okay

Every mum faces her own unique set of challenges. For some, it’s the physical demands of caring for a newborn, while others struggle with juggling work and family. Maybe the lack of sleep is wearing you down, or perhaps it’s the emotional toll of balancing a thousand different roles. Whatever your specific “hard” is, it’s valid. Motherhood doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all experience, so try not to compare your journey to anyone else’s.

The important thing is to give yourself grace and accept that your challenges are real and worthy of compassion—especially self-compassion.

4. Motherhood Doesn’t Come with a Manual

There’s no handbook for motherhood, and every child is different. If you feel like you’re constantly guessing, adjusting, and doubting yourself, that just means you’re doing exactly what mums do! Parenting is full of trial and error, and sometimes you’ll feel like you’re getting it wrong. But you’re learning every day, adapting to your child’s needs, and showing up the best way you can. And that’s the best any mum can do.

5. You’re Doing an Incredible Job (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in what’s going wrong that you forget to notice all that’s going right. When you’re knee-deep in tantrums, laundry, and a never-ending to-do list, it’s hard to step back and recognise that you’re doing a fantastic job just by showing up every day. You’re providing love, stability, and comfort to your child, even when you’re running on fumes.

Motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about being there. And every moment you spend with your child, whether you’re feeling like a superhero or barely holding it together, you’re making a difference in their life.

6. Kids Don’t Need a Perfect Mum; They Just Need You

If you’re worried about the little things—like whether you’re making the right choices, providing enough enrichment, or creating the ideal home environment—remember this: kids don’t need perfection. They need a mum who loves them, who’s there for them, and who shows them that it’s okay to have good days and bad days.

When they see you struggle and keep going, you’re teaching them resilience. When they see you apologise or take a break, you’re teaching them it’s okay to be human. You’re giving them the best example of what it means to love fully and unconditionally.

7. Finding It Hard Just Means You Care Deeply

The fact that you find motherhood challenging doesn’t make you a failure—it’s a sign that you care. You’re trying your best, and you want to give your children everything they deserve. The hard moments are a reflection of the love and effort you’re putting into your role. If it didn’t matter to you, it wouldn’t feel this hard. So every time you feel frustrated or worn out, remember that this only means you’re giving motherhood all you’ve got.

8. It’s Okay (and Healthy!) to Ask for Help

One of the toughest lessons of motherhood is learning that you don’t have to do it alone. It can be hard to ask for help, especially when you feel like you “should” be able to handle it all. But the reality is, no one was meant to raise kids alone. Friends, family, and support networks exist for a reason—don’t hesitate to lean on them when you need to.

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you smart. Letting others support you is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids.

9. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential

When you’re constantly focused on your children’s needs, it’s easy to forget about your own. But the truth is, taking care of yourself isn’t just beneficial—it’s necessary. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint, and you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time, even if it’s just five minutes, to recharge in whatever way works for you.

Self-care isn’t about spa days or fancy vacations (though those are nice if you can swing it!); it’s about giving yourself permission to rest and recharge so you can continue being the amazing mom that you are.

10. Remember, It Gets Easier—And You’re Growing Too

Motherhood can feel like one long season of chaos and fatigue, but remember that phases come and go. Babies grow into toddlers, toddlers grow into kids, and with each stage, new challenges come and old ones fade. You’re not only raising a child; you’re also growing stronger, wiser, and more resilient as a person. Every day, you’re building skills, learning patience, and discovering what you’re truly capable of.

If motherhood feels hard right now, just remember: you’re growing alongside your child, and both of you are becoming better versions of yourselves every day.

The Takeaway: You’re Doing So Much Better Than You Think

If you’re finding motherhood hard, you’re not alone—and you’re certainly not failing. You’re showing up, you’re learning, and you’re giving your child the love, support, and security they need. That’s no small feat, and it deserves to be celebrated. Remember, there’s no such thing as a “perfect” mum but there’s a whole world of incredible mums, and you’re one of them.

So, take a deep breath. Give yourself some grace. And know that by finding the strength to keep going, even when it’s hard, you’re doing an amazing job. You’ve got this.